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Anyway to answer your questions, for starters just be true to yourself and you are doing the right thing. I think you are obsessing a little too much about everything. Don’t worry if her arms are crossed, don’t judge it, you can’t possibly know why her arms are crossed. It might have nothing to do with you. I also think you expect too much, if you are away for one year you cannot expect that nothing will happen, also for you. I know that at 21 you think you know what you want but I truly believe, through experience, that we are constantly growing and changing. Don’t limit yourself by saying that. Just believe that you know what you want now. Tomorrow is another day. My only advice to you is, stay cool, don’t loss yourself in someone Shein. This is what it sounds like is happening. If you constantly think about ‘why she is doing something’ or ‘what must she fee’, or ‘l how can I change to have her’ you have lost yourself. Where is there room for you or your needs. I know this might be hard to understand but if you pin all your energy on why she has her arms crossed for example or what will happen in the future you lose everything about this moment within yourself. I hope some or all of this makes sense.

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